


Balgoreth

by Missy



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Characters Gaming, Gaming, Gen, Humor, Pregnant Character, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7386286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amy leads a bedbound Bernadette and Penny through their first D&D campaign.  Mistakes are made, things are learned and everyone has a good time.</p><p>Especially Vax’Penneth, with her man-killing ice breath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Balgoreth

**Author's Note:**

> Written for elen_nare for Fandom Stocking '15!

“Okay, sweetie – do me one tiny favor and explain this to me,” begged Penny to Bernadette. Bernadette was tucked into bed, feet propped up, looking positively exhausted as the last day of bedrest. The baby was finally going to come out, to her utter relief, within the next few days and she couldn’t be more bored. 

“Couldn’t if I tried. Amy’s the DM. Just let her talk while you get some more popcorn.”

Amy carefully stacked the pile of cards on the TV tray lying an inch or so above Bernadette’s rounded belly. “These are duty cards, these are goal cards, and these are battle cards.” She handed Bernadette a pad and then gave Penny a sheaf of her own. “Now think of a character and write out all of the traits they need to have. For instance, my Mage, Crystalline, has +10 magic HTP and has battle experience. She’s not very good at diplomacy and has weak ankles, so that’s negatives on transport and character interaction. She’s got blue hair, violet eyes and has a strong mind made for math and childbearing hips built to hold up any man who dares meet her on the field of erotic combat…” At that point Penny came through the bedroom door and stared down at Amy as she sttled on the mattress.

“I’m so glad I bought popcorn to this ho down,” she said, picking up the pad. Bernadette sat scribbling away at her pad, carefully noting everything she needed to note on her pad. 

“You’ve played this with Howard, haven’t you?” Amy asked, watching her scribble and scribble her notes.

“Oh, maybe. Howie does like to bring me along to D&D nights…oh poo, don’t tell the boys I said that.”

Amy gasped. “You mean you and Howard are cheating on Sheldon and Leonard?”

“Only because they won’t let me play!”

“That’s probably because Sylvan is so super over-powered she solves all of the party’s problems in five minutes,” Amy joked. “Your character is so diplomatically overpowered that she could probably make the UN agree to take on nuclear disarmament.” 

‘It’s not my fault that the power of niceness takes care of everything.” Bernadette sat up primly. 

Penny had begun work on her own character sheet as they talked. “How’s it going?” Amy asked.

“I think I have it. Question: can I make mine a super strong warrior who can kill a man with her ice breath?”

“Ooh, fitting! I don’t see why not,” Bernadette said. 

“Good….and she can also birth a calf with one hand tied behind her back…” Penny continued. “And she can act like a bard-warrior. I call her Vax’Penneth.” 

“Sure she can,” Amy said. Waiting for everyone to finish their stats, she polished off her dice and laid out the game on Bernadette’s tray. Peweter figures were placed at the head of the map. She pointed to the entry point. “This is the town of Balgoreth! The home of kings, queens and other figures of distinction. The queen’s given our ladies a special task – they have to go the mountain of Myrill to retrieve a powerful amulet thought lost by the people of Balgoreth for centuries. Is this a fool’s mission? Or will they be richly rewarded with money and fame? Let’s find out. Penny, you roll first!”

And roll Penny did. The dice did end up falling, forlorn and lost, under the end table, and Amy retrieved them. Step by step, battle by battle, bits by bit, they crawled their way up the mountain and toward a cave of great riches.

And Vax’Penneth got to birth two cows who were thereafter forever in her debt and ended up causing the end times in Balgoreth, but that’s another story.


End file.
